Number of Guests

While studies have yet to determine the proper number of guests for your child’s birthday party, most parents prefer smaller groups. Many recommend that the number of guests equal the child’s age, plus one. You might go so far as to tweak the formula to child’s age (n) x 1.5=ideal number of guests. But that’s for the optimistic, or the mathematically inclined.

Invitations

Once your child enters school, party guests tend to be classmates. The mannerly thing to do is to invite the entire class, and this is what we recommend. But if you are following tip #1, or are hosting the event in a tiny New York City apartment, inevitably someone will be left out. In this case, minimize bad feeling by mailing invitations rather than having your child hand them out at school. Alternatively, you can limit the guest list by gender, and simply invite all the boys in your son’s class.

Kid-Driven

Let your child take part in the planning of the party. If you’re worried that this will lead to requests for a pony, narrow the options and ask your child to choose the color of the paper goods or whether she would prefer chocolate or vanilla frosting on the cupcakes.

Manners, Please.

Most guests of honor consider presents to be a birthday party’s raison d’etre. Their guests often agree: some children, especially those under 4, may not want to relinquish the presents they’ve brought. Many hosts put presents aside and have the birthday child open gifts after everyone’s gone home.
When small children get together in the presence of sugar, calamity often ensues. While you can’t expect children under 5 in particular to share or cooperate for very long, you can help your youngster be a good host. Remind your darling that shoving, sulking or saying “I already have one of these!” is not acceptable. Repetition breeds familiarity: have this conversation several times – first when you send out the invitations, and again in the days leading up to the party.

Keep them Busy

While you don’t want to force kids to play Pin the Tail on the Donkey when they’re happy eating Play-Doh, it’s a good idea to have lots of structured activities planned. Short games are best because young kids often have a hard time waiting their turn. Make sure there’s some variety – a treasure hunt can be followed by an age-appropriate crafts project, for instance.

Kp it Shrt.

Kids. Have. Short. Attention … Spans. For the very young, a quick sing along or story time followed by birthday cake will be perfect. Older children like more activity. But there is no reason for a four hour extravanga. According to PBS, parties for the under 4’s should last no more than 90 minutes, while for 4- and 5-year-olds, two hours should be fine. For older kids, a two and a half hour event should satisfy even the biggest party animal.

Help!

A birthday party should tire kids out but not exhaust the parents. As you are responsible for the safety of your child’s guests while they are ruining your furniture, enlist some grown ups to help you keep things running smoothly.